Sunday, November 25, 2012

I Know This To Be True

It's not polite to talk about yourself all the time...

Sometimes never, depending on the topic. But I have something to share that I think is important. I lay awake for the majority of the night last night and read, "Comet's Tale" by Steve Wolf. In his book, Wolf describes his physical pain from a congenital spine condition which altered his life and threatened his mental health. I found myself relating to him on many levels.

Many people know that I have rheumatoid arthritis, I often poke fun at my crooked fingers or curly toes. I joke about hiding my ugly knees from sight or the crater that has taken up residence on my bum hip. What I try not to do is complain all the time about the accompanying pain associated with RA.

My family endures the complaining, but even they are spared some of the details that keep me awake at night. If you've known me long, you've known that I have had a long list of injuries and accompanying surgeries. What you may not know is the painful fog that lingers from each. I've heard that with every sedation a person loses bits and pieces of memory and ultimately, themselves. I know this to be true.

As I read Wolf's book last night, I choked up as I related to his accounts of self-doubt, disgust with his own body, depression and suicidal thoughts. I hurt for him even as I lay in agonizing pain from something I could not control. I bring up this topic only to encourage you. Maybe you're the one who is suffering from a physical ailment or disease. Or maybe you live with or care about someone who does. You are not alone. You don't have to believe the same way I do, but I can tell you this...there is a God in Heaven and He knows what you're going through. He made you just the way that you are and He loves you in spite of yourself. I know this to be true.

My message is simple, "Don't Give Up!" It may get better, you may heal or get a reprieve from your infirmities. The only way that you lose is if you quit. So don't quit. Drag that crippled, sickly-old-body of yours through another day and night. Reach out to others in need, be Jesus to someone, you won't even remember your own hurts when you do. I know this to be true.

Betsy

8 comments:

  1. You are such an inspiration to others..

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    1. AW! Thanks, Nita. But I'm just a kid trying to make it home.

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  2. And in spite of your pain and difficulty, you always have a smile and a hearty laugh....and you always make ME laugh in spite of the tough times in my life. I love you for that!

    Hang in there, girl! I pray for relief from the pain and for the grace to endure.

    Love you tons!
    Jennie

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    1. Thank you, Jennie. I love your encouraging heart and cherish your friendship. We all have tough times to endure, they serve to make us stronger, right?

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  3. Wow! I didn't know this about you. Thank you for inspiring me today. I am healthy and sometimes have trouble emphathizing with those who are not. Yet I know many who suffer with chronic pain. This helps me to be more like Jesus Christ. It also helps me to be more grateful for my health and less concerned with body image. Well done!

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    1. Thanks, you know, Beth girl, I use to have absolutely no patience for people that were broken or injured. God had to bring me to my knees over and over again to get me to understand the concept of empathy and compassion. I keep telling Him now..."I get it!"

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  4. Betsy, I love you and your way with words. I read this while sitting in the waiting room at my doctors office. This my umpteenth appointment over the last year still without a diagnosis or hope for a treatment plan that would offer relief. Many days I think "Why do I keep trying?". Its because I don't want my children to remember as the mom who spent most of their childhood in bed. I will not give up and I will not give in. Thank you for the encouragement on this day when I really need it.
    Beth Williams

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    1. Hey Beth, I love you too, sister. I'm glad that you found encouragement in my words. That was my sole intent when I was writing. I use to think that Bronson would only remember his mom on crutches, in a cast or in bed with a migraine, but as he has got older I realize, he remembers more of the good times and fun things we have done together. God is gracious about things like that. He knows our heart better than we do. I'll pray that your doctor(s) can determine what is causing you so much grief so that you feel better and enjoy your time with your "little people." :) Betsy

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