Saturday, July 9, 2011
The Greatest Pain
I couldn't tear my eyes away from his face. It was so misshapen, bloody and bruised. A fellow gun-toter; tall, strong and agile now lay motionless, helpless and broken. A motorcycle crash had landed him in the ICU, but how had it happened and who was to blame? It didn't really matter since it wouldn't change the outcome, but somehow focusing on the how seemed to help ease the tightening around my throat. I kept thinking of all the things I had never said to him. Like; "Thank you for always treating me with respect, or thank you for always backing me up, you are a good friend, you're a great partner or Jesus loves you and died to set you free." Why is it that I never got around to say those things? Why did I let fear or pride keep me from speaking the truth? Ashamed, I stand there by his bedside and pray that I will get another chance. I don't know if he can hear anything that I'm saying, but I begin slowly making amends. I pause while looking up into the eyes of his beautiful wife and I wonder what regrets she has. My heart begins to ache as I acknowledge the greatest pain of all mankind, regret.