My husband, son and I, just got home from a motorcycle trip we took out to New Mexico to ride the Enchanted Circle. It's an 85 mile circle through the northeastern New Mexico towns of Angel Fire, Eagles Nest, Red River and Taos.
While riding out there and back, I had a lot of time to think. There were a few distractions to keep me from my artistic prose; traffic, curvy roads and an irritating song that played over and over in my mind. Funny thing is, I can't remember what that stupid song was now.
Dodging the bugs, shifting my aching hip from one side of the bike seat to the other, I watched Bronson and George riding ahead of me. I prayed (almost constantly) that God would protect them on our travels. I considered horrific scenarios where either or both of them would be involved in a collision and what my response would be. I could see myself losing it. Screaming, crying and shooting the offender. They'd be drunk probably or somebody texting and driving. I'd lose my mind if something happened to either of them, I thought.
Finally, I had to make myself think of something/anything else when my head began to throb and my eyes burned from needless tears. Silly, I know, but the truth is, we all must face the fact that one day we'll die. It's inevitable! I've prayed to go before the boys. I don't want to be here without them.
Then I learn that a friend of mine lost her husband today in a diving accident. I ache all over for her. No doubt she prayed for her husband's safety too. She probably told him numerous times in their 35 years together that she wouldn't be able to go on without him either. I sit here wondering what exquisite hell she must be going through tonight. What absolute misery she must be feeling. She's probably thinking of the last words they spoke to each other. She's relishing that last kiss, that last touch, the last meal they shared, the last everything.
Even though our vacation wasn't very pleasurable by most vacation standards, I'll cherish it for what it was; time spent together. Together we suffered through the heat, the mean cross winds that had us leaning our bikes and one way and our heads the other and we suffered through the stress of being away from home knowing someone was stealing our neighbors belongings and peace of mind.
We're home, together and safe. That's so much more than my sweet friend can say tonight. And while my heart breaks for her, I force myself to cling to our vacation memories; good and bad. I'm thanking God for His protection and for one more "last", should it be that.