I'm nothing like you...

 

It amazes me that some people can cruise through life and never care about anything other than their own immediate needs, wants and desires. We hear on the news everyday how people choose to end their lives or other people's lives...and for what? Because they were betrayed, wronged or victimized?   

There has never been a person, who has ever occupied time or space in this universe that hasn't been wronged or hurt by someone.  

 

I'm so incredibly tired of people blaming others for their bad behavior. If you choose to break the law or break any moral or ethical code, at least be honest about it. You do it because you want to. Nothing more, nothing less. You are all you care about. Don't blame society, the government, your parents, your children or the bully on the playground.

 

*****News Flash*****Every single, solitary time I've ever done anything I shouldn't have...I did it because I was all I cared about at the time...but then again, I'm nothing like you!

 

Betsy

 

 

My Own Strength

Have you ever stopped long enough to consider what we as humans were put on this earth for?

Some never think that we are here for any other reason than for our own pleasure. I'm not one of those people. I hope you aren't either.

If I do nothing more in my time on this planet, I hope to reach just one person...for Jesus.

I don't care what you think of me. Your political opinion(s) won't change history and neither will mine. That one person that hears my story, that hears my heart and turns to the only real thing in my life...that's what matters. That's the only thing that truly does.

I've done a lot of really cool things in my life. I have accomplished so many things that "a girl" couldn't, shouldn't or wouldn't accomplish, but I haven't done a single thing on my own.

There hasn't been one traffic stop in my over 20 years in law enforcement where I was alone. There wasn't one day teaching bayonet training or land navigation to a young, eager US Army Private that I did so in my own strength.

Let me tell you about my own strength...I've hated, lied, cheated, stolen, said and done cruel things to people I should have cared about. Everyday, in my mind, I commit murder, adultery, theft and more. Still impressed with me?

Let me tell you something really impressive...a sinless, holy God loved us whom He had created. He loved us so much that He sent His only son to pay our sin debt.

Jesus is where I draw my strength, my courage. He is my everything. He alone forgives me for all that I've been and all that I will be.

There isn't a single sin that I have ever committed or will ever commit that Jesus didn't know about and pay for by dying on Calvary's cross.

Don't be in awe of Betsy Randolph, Chief Sinner. Be in awe of a sovereign God who uses a jackass to profess his miraculous love and forgiveness.

Betsy

Welcome 2013...here's a resolution for ya...

Happy New Year. Welcome 2013!

I'm mulling over my lengthy resolution list. Like last year, I'm grumbling to resolve to be thinner, more productive and healthier. I should be more resolute in vocalizing my disdain about resolutions.

Why don't we as a society resolve to quit being such pansies?
I miss the days of, "Sticks and stones will break my bones, but words will never hurt me."

Now days you can't say anything that may hurt someone's feelings. Freedom of speech is a thing of the past. Not only can you be sued or held liable, now days, people kill each other for "unkind words."

Please, when I was a kid, mean words and deeds made a person stronger, more resilient, more resolute. If someone was mean to you, you didn't punch, shoot or stab them...you just called them a "jackass" and went on about your business, not waisting an ounce of time or energy on their stupidity. Besides, they have the right to voice their biased opinion about you. Just like you have the right to voice your biased opinion about them.

I think my brother, Brian, was the first one I heard say this other famous phrase, "Everyone has an opinion and just like their butt hole, it usually stinks."


Betsy

I am to blame

I guess I've been in a funk...stumbling around in a darkened place with no sense of direction and no real desire to search for an escape. Making excuses why, won't lessen my culpability. I am to blame.

I've been silent when I needed to shout.
I've been distant when intimacy was needed.
I've been compliant when I should have protested.

Accepting wavering shades of gray, blurring the lines until what's obvious, isn't.
When good men do nothing, evil prevails. I am to blame.

I'm the consumer who purchased the movie, music, video game or book containing filth and violence.
I'm the spectator who said, "That's wrong" but did nothing to stop it from happening again and again and again.

For every action there's a reaction. The same is true for inaction. To stand idly by and watch your country kill itself slowly one classroom at a time, one unborn baby at a time...is treason. You can not claim to love something and then silently watch it implode. You might as well cheer.

I am to blame.

Every time I sat down to write about the madness we've all seen on TV the last few days, I'd get so angry that I could only walk away disgusted.

I've tried everything imaginable to ease this ache in my heart. I've decided its staying for awhile and with it an undeniable rage. How could anyone, crazy or not, kill a bunch of little kids and women?

If there ever comes a day...

Every law enforcement officer knows the feelings I'm about to describe. Few other professions experience the emotions I'm about to reveal. Nurses, doctors, morticians and maybe a hose-dragger or two, are able to relate to what I'm about to say.

We are constantly surrounded by death. The dead, the dying, the use-to-be. We gun-toters lean toward cynical, mechanical, calloused when it comes to death. We accept it for what it is...a part of life. We take no pleasure in the loss of life, but we also feel unattached to the "normal" emotions that humans typically feel when we witness it. That is of course, until the chilly fingers of death touch someone we care about.

When the inevitable happens...we feel way too much. Every nerve fiber in our bodies are on overdrive, every sensory skill tasked to the threshold, every muscle in our jaw clinches to near teeth-breaking strength. And then we collapse into nothingness. Drained of our tears, we lay fragile, broken, spent.

We will eventually recover, but we won't ever be the same. Death (of any kind) hurts. It may be the end of a long term relationship. Or the end of a marriage. It may be the end of a friendship or the end of a career. It may be the loss of a four-legged friend or the loss of mobility or youth.

Any loss, death or otherwise, changes who you are and who you thought you were. It makes you stop, if only for a moment and consider what's important. Death does something else...it sweetens the memories for the ones left behind; for that, I'm grateful.

I Know This To Be True

It's not polite to talk about yourself all the time...

Sometimes never, depending on the topic. But I have something to share that I think is important. I lay awake for the majority of the night last night and read, "Comet's Tale" by Steve Wolf. In his book, Wolf describes his physical pain from a congenital spine condition which altered his life and threatened his mental health. I found myself relating to him on many levels.

Many people know that I have rheumatoid arthritis, I often poke fun at my crooked fingers or curly toes. I joke about hiding my ugly knees from sight or the crater that has taken up residence on my bum hip. What I try not to do is complain all the time about the accompanying pain associated with RA.

My family endures the complaining, but even they are spared some of the details that keep me awake at night. If you've known me long, you've known that I have had a long list of injuries and accompanying surgeries. What you may not know is the painful fog that lingers from each. I've heard that with every sedation a person loses bits and pieces of memory and ultimately, themselves. I know this to be true.

As I read Wolf's book last night, I choked up as I related to his accounts of self-doubt, disgust with his own body, depression and suicidal thoughts. I hurt for him even as I lay in agonizing pain from something I could not control. I bring up this topic only to encourage you. Maybe you're the one who is suffering from a physical ailment or disease. Or maybe you live with or care about someone who does. You are not alone. You don't have to believe the same way I do, but I can tell you this...there is a God in Heaven and He knows what you're going through. He made you just the way that you are and He loves you in spite of yourself. I know this to be true.

My message is simple, "Don't Give Up!" It may get better, you may heal or get a reprieve from your infirmities. The only way that you lose is if you quit. So don't quit. Drag that crippled, sickly-old-body of yours through another day and night. Reach out to others in need, be Jesus to someone, you won't even remember your own hurts when you do. I know this to be true.

Betsy